Back in 2016, when I decided to quit my job and build something on my own, I naturally turned to the people closest to me, my parents and my girlfriend at the time. Their reactions shaped my perspective on advice forever.
Incident One: The Call Home
Me (on phone): I’ve decided to quit my job and do something on my own.
Dad: You shouldn’t quit a job, it gives you a stable income.
[He hands the phone to my mom.]
Mom: What happened? Why do you want to quit? Is everything okay?
Me: Yes, everything’s fine. I just don’t feel like working for anyone anymore.
Mom: That’s okay, but… you just cleared your education loan. We also need to finish construction work at home. Finally our worst days are ending. This job pays you well. I think you should think about family.
Long silence.
Mom (softly changing the subject): Anyway, what will you have for dinner?
Incident Two: The Relationship Question
GF (on phone): Are you really leaving your job altogether? How will you pay your expenses? How will you support your family?
Me: I don’t know yet, but I don’t see any other option.
GF: You already run out of money every month. Your credit cards are maxed. How will you manage without a salary?
Me: I’ll figure it out, but I want to do this.
GF: I don’t know… how are we supposed to grow our relationship amidst this chaos?
Why These Stories Matter ?
Looking back many years later, I realised something important: none of their responses were about my abilities or potential.
My parents and girlfriend weren’t judging me. They were speaking from their own experiences, fears, and responsibilities.
Reflection on Incident One
My father had quit his job in the 90s to start a shop. It failed, wiping out his savings and forcing him into a low-paying job role. He never recovered financially. My mother endured that hardship alongside him.
So when I talked about quitting, they weren’t doubting me; they were projecting their own scars. They were trying to protect me from repeating their pain.
Reflection on Incident Two
My girlfriend wasn’t dismissing my dream either. She knew my monthly struggles, the credit card debt, the late nights. Her fears weren’t about my capability, they were about our stability as a couple.
She was being protective in her own way, imagining a future together that felt increasingly uncertain.
What I Learned About Seeking Advice
When we ask loved ones for guidance on life-changing decisions, we rarely get objective counsel.
They speak through the lens of their own experiences and regrets.
They don’t always know our skills, resilience, or vision.
Most times, their advice carries a bias, especially if the decision affects them directly or indirectly.
Their intentions are protective, not limiting. But if we confuse their protection for objective truth, we risk giving up our path before even trying.
My Decision Framework
When I chose to quit despite their concerns, it boiled down to three questions:
If I don’t do this now, will I regret it forever?
If I don’t do this, will I slowly blame them for my unhappiness?
What’s the worst that could happen? Even if I failed, I could always find another job.
With that clarity, I took the leap.
The Message
Loved ones are meant to advise, not decide.
Their guidance is valuable—but it must be filtered.
The real test is whether you can separate their beliefs from your own convictions.
Advice should inform you, not imprison you.
Because at the end of the day: only you know your true potential.
And when you choose for yourself, you also remove the possibility of lifelong regret or blame.
Why This Story Matters to Me
People often ask how entrepreneurship began in my life. For me, it started in this exact moment—the first time I believed in myself despite everyone I loved saying don’t do it.
For a long time, I wondered why my closest people didn’t see my vision. Now I understand: they weren’t doubting me. They were protecting me from pain they had already lived.
But some journeys can’t be protected. They have to be walked.
✨ Takeaway Quote:
Loved ones advise through their scars. Your future is built through your choices.